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Praying Mantis
July 17, 2008
Praying Mantis
By Claudia Rosewolf
Dear sweet, loving friends,
I have this yearning to somehow put into words the intelligent orchestration of the spiritual world of these weeks, days, hours & minutes.
My risk-taking mission in northern Alabama has expressed itself in kindness, sorrow, enthusiasm, anger, delight and any other adjective of expression one might experience.
I feel empty today. Empty of emotions, mind, & body. Empty in a way of receiving. Empty that suggests the Creator is near. My creation is near. I am aware of my spirit lingering, embracing me, and whispering those sweet nothings to the acknowledgment of the Presence of All That IS.
I have laughed and I have cried with every lesson learning. I have escaped into mind chatter, blame of another, kicked and screamed in an effort to deny this “call” of Great Spirit. And, when all else fails beg for mercy, beg for insight and wisdom. Call out the agony of “What am I doing here?” “What am I doing here?” And, by the way, Great Spirit, am I sure I agreed to all of this?
There were times I considered running away for I felt unacknowledged, criticized and blamed. (Sounds a bit like victimization & woundology, I say to myself.) I remind myself there is simply a difference of perception. Get over it!
There is so much that crosses my mind when I feel myself close down and go into a cave somewhere. The world becomes dark. (Of course it does! I’m in a cave). I am smart enough to know personalities present themselves in sooo many special ways…and my personality verses another can be gentle and kind or uncomfortable. So what is this familiar feeling that feels good only when miserable?
Then by some grand expression of truth, the companions of duality show themselves. I am filled with the companions of kindness, of compassion, of loving, and of friendships so tender. I remember my friend Magnolia calling me on my birthday, saying, “Claudie, I awoke with you on my mind this day of your birth. I have baked you your favorite pound cake. Come on over and let us celebrate you!” The tenderness of this jester touched my very soul. The grand celebration continued as we sat on her front stoop remembering & laughing at ourselves. We lifted in prayer our visions of life, gave thanks for our friendship and the-spirit-that-moves-through-all-things.
All the drama of all the prior events dissipates into a cloud of nothingness. All the energies of wailing and whining immediately transform into celebration. Thank you, Magnolia!
I am reminded of the generosity of others when a friend comes to visit and hangs a ceiling fan for me. He also loans me his lawn mower for the season. How cool is this!
There are “calls” of intermediary journeys to Nashville and other “villes” which lighten my heart/spirit. These journeys boost my ego, sooth my soul, and remember me of my calling and my gifts. Halleluiah!
The gifts of life are soo prevalent in my world. There are birds singing every day. I have this cottage to myself. I have food. I have livelihood. I have friendship & love. I have silence, quiet and the spirits who walk with me.
Can life get any better than this? Believe me, it does.
I am packing my belongs for my journey to Nashville, TN when my friend who
has a farm on the top of Crow Mountain calls. She asks if I am available to tend her place while she is out of town. What a grand opportunity for rest, visit with the spiritual world and myself!
This land is in the mountains of north Alabama near the Tennessee state line. I feel the peace of this land and its acceptance of my presence. I sense the company of my ancestors. I feel at home.
My chores are really quite easy. I begin my day with feeding the two cats and then visiting the vegetable garden. Sometimes I walk around all of the plants playing my flute and giving thanks for their harvest. Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I drum. Sometimes I feel the breath of the land and all of the plants in harmony with my own. What a joy to harvest the vegetables! They are so willing to give of their fruits. I am so willing to receive their fruits.
I water the vegetable garden and all of the flower plants on the property.
The fig tree calls my attention. I am enveloped by her lush leaves and feel nurtured by her very presence. She is the Mother Earth. I feel her tending and holding me. I feel her invitation to eat of her fruit. As I eat of her fruit, I feel her vibration fill me with nourishment, comfort and a sense of well being. I have arrived! I must look for figs to eat! I scrutinize each branch looking for the ripe figs. There they are: one, two and sometimes three. Did you know the sap of figs is milky? Wow!
These chores complete, I am off to sit in the swing over looking the bluff. As I approach the bluff, I immediately feel a presence that demands silence. My heart skips a beat as I look across the valley in wonder and awe…and the silence catches me. I am quiet and reflective. There is a haze today as if foggy. I can see across to the mountain on the other side. It is green with trees. I hear the morning Dove cooing. I notice a vulture riding the wind currents. The spirits of the wind rustle the trees as if acknowledging my presence. I pick up my flute and begin to play. In this NOW moment, I feel my mind empty of all its chatter. Prayer enters my being in its murmur of grace. A profound pulsation fills my being.
Slowly, ever slowly I return to my dwelling. As I open the storm door, I notice
a long thin, brown insect cling to the window of the door. Oh my heavenly day! A praying mantis! I have seen three of these beings in less than a week. They are the power of stillness. Their teaching is to still the outer mind so when it is time to act, it is done with accuracy and great authority. They know how to wait until the opportunity presents itself. One stayed on the front door window all the daylong. I mean to tell ya, I looked and looked to see if this being moved any part of its body. The more I opened the door, the stiller it became. The next morning it was gone. I guess it took all night to get off of the window…and then it moved because there was stillness. What a grand gift of nature…stillness.
Marvelous happening continue. Two days after I write this story, a friend in Nashville calls. My friend’s friend is out of town frequently and is looking for someone to tend dogs & house. That’ll be yours truly. There are two dogs that have their own fenced in area with house. The guy says he has a trailer in the fenced in area, which he will stay in when he is in town.
The main house is large enough to have classes, circles, friends over and who knows what else. I depart this mountain with a place in the wood that is close to friends, and easy access to the city. I bid farewell to this mountain with a continual knowing of my return and of my relation to the spiritual world’s tending of me and granting all that I request.
I certainly have loved this experience of this mountaintop. I have sat and stared into nothingness or somethingness. I have received the wind brushing through my hair. I have received a knowing of all things are given and all things are received. I have written this story. I have received nourishment from the fruits of all the plants. With every lesson I have learned, I have laughed and I have cried. I have experienced the secrets of the universe.
I have experienced the secrets of the Mother earth.
For all of this, I give thanks. To ALL of my relations, I give thanks.
Claudia Rosewolf
Written September 4, 2007 Please feel free to copy and distribute any information you find on this website!
Copyright 2007-2010 Claudia Rosewolf, Shaman Within. Site maintained by Dixie Studios for Web Design.
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